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Spectacular Lockdown Lamentations: How My Laptop Turned Me into a Four-Eyed Being

Lockdown. The fickle mistress!

We were once inseparable, my trusty laptop and I - engaging in endless virtual meetings, conquering deadlines, binge-watching every show known to man and substituting all water cooler moments.

Woman working on a laptop holding her head in frustration
Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash

But little did I know that this intimate relationship would have a laugh at my expense: via a vision impairment that led me down the path of dependency of the eyeglass variety. Join me on this eye-opening journey as we explore the absurdity of my laptop-induced ocular catastrophe!


Chapter 1: The Blurry Beginnings

It all began innocently enough. With the world on pause, I embraced the digital realm like never before - and I work in digital. Hours upon hours, I was transfixed by the glowing screen, taking zero screen breaks, typing away with the grace of a caffeinated cheetah.

Glasses putting focus on blurred writing
Photo by Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash

But who would have known that my eyes were paying the price?

As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, the severe headaches started and the clarity of my vision started to fade.


Chapter 2: The Eye of the Laptop Storm

The real trouble started when my eyes decided to stage a rebellious coup. Suddenly, what was once sharp and focused became a hazy, pixelated mess. Letters danced around like drunken ballerinas, and my laptop screen transformed into a wet painting. Kinda like watching a 3D movie without the glasses, only with a 4D headache.

Old 3d image with red and blue outlines
Imagine the world through this lens...yea

Chapter 3: The Quest for Clarity

Concerned about my sanity and my rapidly deteriorating eyesight, I embarked on a quest to regain my ocular superpowers - known to regular humans as booking an eyetest.


It got to that point - squinting like a confused owl was becoming tedious and as futile as trying to teach a goldfish how to salsa dance.

Woman with her eyes crossed and pouting with red lipstick
Photo by Shiny Diamond on Pexels

Chapter 4: The Spectacular Spectacle

With my vision resembling a pixelated kaleidoscope (slight exaggeration), and unbearable headaches, it was time to admit defeat and embrace the four-eyed revolution. Well that and an optician’s prescription.


So I ventured into the realm of eyewear fashion. As I tried on frames that ranged from "intellectual hipster" to "mad scientist chic," I couldn't help but feel like Clark Kent, minus the superpowers and the chiselled jawline. And the strength. And I can’t fly.

Glasses putting a blurry eye test into focus
Photo by David Travis on Unsplash

Chapter 5: The Costly Conundrum

Fate had decided to mug me off - the glasses I needed to restore my vision came with an astronomically high price tag. Apparently, clarity doesn't come cheap.

AND I need separate glasses for screen and distance vs. reading and phone (the varifocals didn’t work for me kmt).

Hand holding up a pair of black framed glasses
Photo by Zarak Khan on Unsplash

I found myself caught in a financial weigh-up: see the world in sharp focus (and eating ramen for the rest of my days) or all the other good stuff that I like?

Spoiler alert: my vision won, and I now model the trendiest TWO pairs of noodles on my face.


Conclusion:

My lockdown love affair with my laptop took an unexpected turn. What started as a tale of productivity and escapism turned into a circus of blurred vision and expensive eyewear.

So if there's one thing lockdown has taught me, it's to embrace life's quirks, a pair of glasses cost more than my first car, and never underestimate the power of those coffee runs / water cooler moments. Or anything that takes your eyes off the screen for a few mins.

So here's to the laughter, the blurred lines, and the absurdity of it.


Until next time,

The Squinting Owl


Random link alert:

While looking for a 3D pic, I came acrose some magic eyes (real name: Autostereogram). It took me way back - if you know you know. So here's a lil' something for those who know. You're welcome x


Keep up with my selfie shenanigans on my modelling profile on Insta: @althie_model


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Word from the author:

Thank you for being a part of this incredible journey, and I hope this blog post brings a smile to your face. Stay tuned for more entertaining adventures from the world of a multitasking modelpreneur!


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